'Sometimes it's not about being more resilient': How mothers are managing during challenging times

WINDSOR, N.S. -

At the end of another school day, Ambyr Dunn’s busy household gets even busier.

Being a mom to three children is just one of the roles she plays, along with being an actor, university student, and wife – while managing a job in science education at the same time.

She says juggling everything has been made more difficult by the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic.

"For me, it's this feeling of treading water, of not being able to plan for the future, because you don't really know what's going to be happening next, kind of being stuck in a state of limbo,” she says.

Over the past two years, the pandemic has only added to the everyday pressures of parenting, along with the financial pressures of paying the bills.

“Especially during the time where if one person in your house was sick, the whole household had to isolate. That was really stressful I found because there's five of us here,” she says. “That could mean isolating for five weeks… just everything that that would encompass was extremely stressful.”

Even now, with restrictions mostly gone, there’s still a lot to handle.

“Even though, technically yes, it is easier this year, it felt heavier,” Dunn says. “I think it's just because you've been carrying the weight for just so much longer.”

According to a new survey by the Canadian Women's Foundation,  the majority of the 1,500 mothers surveyed felt they’ve been seriously impacted by the pandemic and need more support.

In addition, it found almost half of moms (48 per cent) said they are reaching their breaking point, compared with 46 per cent of moms in 2021.

“And two in five mothers, 37 per cent, say they've put their careers on the back burner to manage home and caregiving responsibilities,” adds the foundation’s Andrea Gunraj.

The survey also found 67 per cent are concerned about their emotional and physical well-being; 39 per cent are struggling to keep up with work demands; and 47 per cent find it exhausting trying to balance work and child care.

“We know that women have disproportionate caregiving responsibilities,” says Gunraj. “That is of course sexist and really puts a burden on women.”

That, paired with the gender pay gap, she says, means women are often left with more to do and less time to do it, which then leads to increased stress and anxiety.

”Sometimes it’s not about being more resilient, sometimes it’s about falling apart more effectively,” says Halifax psychologist Dayna Lee-Bagley.

Lee-Bagley says that means women should set priorities when it comes to which tasks are most important to them. Then, she says it’s important to “build a village” around themselves, asking for help from others to help complete the rest of what’s on her “to-do” list.  

She says that could mean reaching out to family and friends, accessing community resources, or hiring services to take on certain work.

Lee-Bagley adds women should also remember to take care of themselves -- something she says is often a “tough sell” for mothers.

“It's not just for yourself to charge your battery, it is for all the people who matter to you and all the things that matter to you,” Lee-Baggley explains. “That's who you want to charge your battery for.”