These strategies could help reduce back-to-school stress: psychologist

New Brunswick led the charge in Atlantic Canada Tuesday, with students returning to the classroom ahead of Newfoundland, Nova Scotia and P.E.I. However, the transition from summer to school isn’t always as smooth as families would like it to be.

The first day of Grade 5 didn’t go exactly as planned for 10-year-old Kinsley Beers.

“My daughter was very excited for the bus, she was actually ready an hour before, and when we were about to go outside she’s like ‘Mommy, the bus went by.’ My husband has our only car, so my only option was to bring her on the four wheeler this morning,” said Sheena Beers, Kinsley’s mom.

Beers says the family was able to make the best out of the circumstances.

“She was very upset. She was looking forward to taking the bus, albeit very nervous, but after that she was very excited and I’m sure the adrenaline was just rushing through this morning when she got there, so she didn’t have time to think about it,” she said.

Experts say focusing on the positives is one of the best things families can do as they adjust to a back-to-school routine this September.

“I find sometimes if we say ‘how was your day’ kids might go to something that wasn’t so great, but if you really empathize, ‘What was the best part? What was your favourite part? What was the most fun?’ You can really try to direct that conversation in a positive way, which will make both the kids and the parents feel better,” said Lorelei Burgess with Oxford Learning in Halifax.

This time of year can be a challenging transition for the entire family.

Burgess says there’s apprehension on both sides, with kids worried about what it’s going to be like and parents looking at the overall experience.

“Elementary school parents are concerned about friends and fitting in and how they’re going to enjoy their day. Is it going to be too long? Are they going to be too tired? Whereas as they get older, it tends to shift to this might be their last year of high school, what are they going to do? Are they going to make the right decisions, pick the right courses?” she said.

Overall, Burgess says the anxiety likely comes from the fear of the unknown.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Jody Carrington says change, like starting up school again in the fall, is supposed to bring anxiety and it’s a normal transition period for kids to navigate and parents can help with that.

“Change is supposed to bring those shoulders up, we don’t have a script for this necessarily, we’ve got all our new stuff and trying to figure out our friends and this is supposed to be a time of chaos, and what I often say to parents and educators, who I think are amazing, is if the big people aren’t okay, then the little people don’t stand a chance,” she said.

Carrington has three children heading back to school this week and knows first hand how challenging it can be.

She says getting into a routine and being intentional about taking breaks for rest can be helpful.

“We’re seeing lots more sleep deprivation, a lot of social deprivation and that really is difficult to be able to learn, to learn a new process, to step into a classroom and routine, so just really paying attention I think to sleep,” she said.

“Being really clear about, for us parents, dropping our shoulders, making sure we’re just taking deep breaths and navigating the big emotion.”

Burgess adds a main priority should be getting back into a routine that works for your family and household, especially when it comes to starting the day right with as little stress and chaos as possible.

“Especially for the younger kids, you want to eliminate all of the stress first thing in the morning, so having them pack their bags the night before, pick out their clothes, pack their lunches, the less confusion in the morning, the easier their day will be, the better you can set them up for success,” said Burgess.

Both experts agree that getting back into the swing of things will take time, patience and flexibility over the next couple of weeks.