'A father’s love counts for a lot': Reflecting on dad’s influence this Father's Day
Father’s Day is the time to celebrate dads, and reflect on the influence they have on the lives of their children.
Registered psychologist Dr. Simon Sherry says dads add significant value to the lives of their children.
“Fathers play an important role in the lives of their children, and that comes across in two ways,” begins Dr. Sherry.
“First, fatherlessness, is very difficult for children and for families. In other words, if there’s no dad in a family, it can result in riskier outcomes for the children within that family.”
Research has shown a quality relationship teaches children to be less reactive to stress.
“Dads teach key lessons, such as self control, or fearlessness, or how to follow the rules. So dads have a very important role here.”
Quality, over quantity
Dr. Sherry stresses spending time with your kids doesn’t necessarily promote better outcomes, it’s what you’re doing with the time you have with him.
“The quality of the relationship matters,” adds Dr. Sherry. “So, if you are providing emotional support, if you’re mentoring your children’s activities, if you are involved in appropriate discipline, if you are consistently, reliably available to your child, those are the examples of quality interactions.”
Different dads
According to Statistics Canada, the average age of dads in Canada is increasing.
In 2021, dads were on average 33.6 years old at the birth of their child, which is nearly 3 years older compared with three decades earlier.
Dads aged 35 and older at the birth of child has nearly doubled in 30 years, from 20.2 per cent to 39.9 per cent. Dads aged 50 and older more than doubled during the same period, from 6.1 per cent to 14.1 per cent.
“This ‘fathering’ notion, I think we need to be very broad, and flexible at how we look at it” explains Dr. Sherry.
“For instance, we’re seeing more and more single parent families in Canada, that’s a demographic on the rise. We’re also seeing more stay-at-home dads. Regardless of the family format, a father’s love counts for a lot.”
A member of Dalhousie’s Department of Psychology and Neuroscience, Dr. Sherry says Father’s Day also can cause upward social comparisons.
“They tend to compare themselves to a lofty and unrealistic – maybe an unobtainable standard. This “ideal” version of what a father should be. And no one is going to hit that ideal. So some people feel sad, or deficient, because of that social comparison. Instead of having a more realistic, and reasonable, expectation of what a father is, and what a family is.”
Complicated relationships
While there’s a lot of love for dad, Father’s Day can be very painful for those experiencing loss, infertility, or strained relationships.
“You can sit it out,” explains Dr. Sherry. “There’s a social conformity pressure around this that pushes us in a direction to acknowledge these days, but ultimately, you can opt out of these days, and spend your time elsewhere.”
How to celebrate
Gifts are nice, but Dr. Sherry says they won’t make a lasting memory.
“I think ultimately, a heavily commercialized, highly materialized holiday is an empty one,” says the psychologist.
“I think what you want to do is offer your care, and love, and attention on a day like Father’s Day, and that should be good enough for any day.”
Father’s Day is Sunday, June 16.
CTVNews.ca Top Stories
Trump's Madison Square Garden event features crude and racist insults
Donald Trump took the stage Sunday night at New York’s Madison Square Garden to deliver his campaign's closing argument with the election nine days away after several of his allies used crude and racist insults toward U.S. Vice-President Kamala Harris and other critics of the former president.
B.C. election results: Mail-in ballots heavily favour NDP, only absentee ballots left to count
The majority of mail-in ballots tallied this weekend for the final count in B.C.’s nail-bitingly close 2024 provincial election went to the NDP, increasing the party’s chances of clinching a third term.
Here's when you need to change your clock back
Millions of Canadians will notice their clocks turn back by one hour on Nov. 3, marking the end of daylight saving time this year.
New polls show Sask. NDP leading over Sask. Party ahead of election day
A pair of new pre-election polls indicate that the Saskatchewan NDP has a slight lead ahead of election day.
17-year-old charged for driving 188 km/h on Hwy. 417 in Ottawa
A 17-year-old Ottawa driver was caught speeding nearly 90 km/h over the speed limit on Highway 417.
Hollywood star Victor Garber gets emotional after surprise meeting with his former teacher in London, Ont.
Victor Garber got teary-eyed when he walked into a brunch in his honour Sunday in London, Ont.
Another bumpy week ahead as Trudeau faces deadlines from Liberal MPs, Bloc
Another week, another raft of imminent challenges to Justin Trudeau's leadership of both the country and the Liberal Party.
He lost a finger and survived a kidnapping. Then, this climber took on a 9,000-foot 'death-trap'
With jaw-dropping big wall ascents and a life packed with adrenaline and adventure, climber Tommy Caldwell has had a career worthy of – and captured by – a feature film.
How to make sure your used clothes go to the right place – and not to organized crime
Giving away used clothes for a second life feels like an act of charity – and it often is. But it’s become more complicated. A W5 investigation has discovered allegations that organized crime players are muscling in on charities to access their donation bins.