'A father’s love counts for a lot': Reflecting on dad’s influence this Father's Day
Father’s Day is the time to celebrate dads, and reflect on the influence they have on the lives of their children.
Registered psychologist Dr. Simon Sherry says dads add significant value to the lives of their children.
“Fathers play an important role in the lives of their children, and that comes across in two ways,” begins Dr. Sherry.
“First, fatherlessness, is very difficult for children and for families. In other words, if there’s no dad in a family, it can result in riskier outcomes for the children within that family.”
Research has shown a quality relationship teaches children to be less reactive to stress.
“Dads teach key lessons, such as self control, or fearlessness, or how to follow the rules. So dads have a very important role here.”
Quality, over quantity
Dr. Sherry stresses spending time with your kids doesn’t necessarily promote better outcomes, it’s what you’re doing with the time you have with him.
“The quality of the relationship matters,” adds Dr. Sherry. “So, if you are providing emotional support, if you’re mentoring your children’s activities, if you are involved in appropriate discipline, if you are consistently, reliably available to your child, those are the examples of quality interactions.”
Different dads
According to Statistics Canada, the average age of dads in Canada is increasing.
In 2021, dads were on average 33.6 years old at the birth of their child, which is nearly 3 years older compared with three decades earlier.
Dads aged 35 and older at the birth of child has nearly doubled in 30 years, from 20.2 per cent to 39.9 per cent. Dads aged 50 and older more than doubled during the same period, from 6.1 per cent to 14.1 per cent.
“This ‘fathering’ notion, I think we need to be very broad, and flexible at how we look at it” explains Dr. Sherry.
“For instance, we’re seeing more and more single parent families in Canada, that’s a demographic on the rise. We’re also seeing more stay-at-home dads. Regardless of the family format, a father’s love counts for a lot.”
A member of Dalhousie’s Department of Psychology and Neuroscience, Dr. Sherry says Father’s Day also can cause upward social comparisons.
“They tend to compare themselves to a lofty and unrealistic – maybe an unobtainable standard. This “ideal” version of what a father should be. And no one is going to hit that ideal. So some people feel sad, or deficient, because of that social comparison. Instead of having a more realistic, and reasonable, expectation of what a father is, and what a family is.”
Complicated relationships
While there’s a lot of love for dad, Father’s Day can be very painful for those experiencing loss, infertility, or strained relationships.
“You can sit it out,” explains Dr. Sherry. “There’s a social conformity pressure around this that pushes us in a direction to acknowledge these days, but ultimately, you can opt out of these days, and spend your time elsewhere.”
How to celebrate
Gifts are nice, but Dr. Sherry says they won’t make a lasting memory.
“I think ultimately, a heavily commercialized, highly materialized holiday is an empty one,” says the psychologist.
“I think what you want to do is offer your care, and love, and attention on a day like Father’s Day, and that should be good enough for any day.”
Father’s Day is Sunday, June 16.
CTVNews.ca Top Stories
![](https://www.ctvnews.ca/polopoly_fs/1.6940954.1719356980!/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_800/image.jpg)
Smith tells Trudeau Alberta will opt out of federal dental plan
Alberta is opting out of the federal dental plan, the premier told the Canadian government late Tuesday afternoon.
One of Canada's most popular vehicles recalled over transmission issue; 95,000 impacted
One of the country's most popular vehicles is being recalled in Canada due to a transmission issue that may impact tens of thousands of drivers.
WikiLeaks' Assange pleads guilty in deal with U.S. that secures his freedom, ends legal fight
WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange has pleaded guilty to obtaining and publishing U.S. military secrets in a deal with Justice Department prosecutors that secures his liberty and concludes a drawn-out legal saga that raised divisive questions about press freedom and national security.
'We need to regroup,' says Liberal minister and Ontario campaign co-chair in light of byelection loss
A member of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's cabinet and the party's Ontario co-chair for the next campaign says the Liberals 'need to regroup' after a shocking overnight byelection loss to Pierre Poilievre's Conservatives.
Pre-med students can't take MCAT in Quebec because of Bill 96
Areeba Ahmed says she's always dreamed of becoming a surgeon but her road to the operating room has become a complicated one ever since Quebec's French language law came into effect.
Protesters try to topple Queen Victoria statue near pro-Palestinian encampment in Montreal
Montreal police were called to intervene after protesters attempted to tear down the Queen Victoria statue at Victoria Square.
Cup Noodles serves up notoriously poisonous pufferfish
Pufferfish is regarded as a luxury in Japan and a meal featuring the potentially poisonous delicacy can easily cost up to 20,000 yen (US$125) at high-end restaurants.
'Truly a great British Columbian': Former B.C. premier John Horgan has cancer again
Former B.C. premier and current Canadian ambassador to Germany John Horgan has been diagnosed with cancer for a third time.
New experience in Halifax gets people up close and personal to the ocean's most feared predator
Atlantic Shark Expeditions launched a new shark cage experience which gives brave attendees a chance to get up close and personal with the oceans most feared predator.