Tackling a difficult topic: How to talk to children about the war in Ukraine

Lower Sackville, N.S. -

Gabriella Rizkallah's son may be too young to really know what's happening in Ukraine right now, but as a parent and art therapist, she knows how to communicate with kids about difficult topics.

"It is a very complex situation going on and depending on the age limit you want to let them understand more what conflict is and how it feels to them," says Rizkallah. "And how they can relate to those feelings.”

The woman behind Nova Scotian Art Therapy says making an art can be a powerful way to frame a conversation around a certain topic in a more relaxed way, to get children talking about how they are feeling.

"Draw an argument, or a fight, using lines," she says, "maybe they'll use straight lines, maybe they'll scribble, it really depends. I find it's an easier process to kind of get that information out."

Not far from Rizkallah’s studio in Lower Sackville, another parent has found a different tool to help answer difficult questions about Russia’s attack on Ukraine.

A parent of three children, Adam Mimnagh, also happens to be the head of the digital broadcasting network behind, "ToonAVision", which airs cartoon programming on local cable channels.

"My own children were asking, 'Dad, what's happening in Ukraine?'" he says. "And we struggled to find the right way to explain it to them."

But his work in cartoons led him to a short film created by two Ukrainian animation studios, Animagrad and Mamahokhotala. Both based in Kyiv amidst the war, their studios transformed into bomb shelters, and animators created the 2-and-a-half minute cartoon, called "The Good Always Wins."

The film uses the relationship between two boys, with one bullying the other, as an analogy for Russian aggression against Ukraine.

"They wanted to produce something that would combat Russia’s misinformation," says Mimnagh.

After showing it to his own family, Mimnagh decided to acquire broadcast rights to show it in Canada. It now airs it on ToonAVision multiple times a day.

The film's closing line? "Because where the truth is, there is always good, and the good always wins."

That simple message, sometimes the best way to communicate with children on such a difficult topic, say experts.

"Sometimes you just need to simplify it and simplify it," says Vanessa Jensen, a pediatric psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio.

Jensen says it's also important to let children know they are safe where they are at times like this.

She also recommends monitoring what kids see or hear on television and social media to try to keep disturbing images of the war at bay. She says violent images can impact children of any age, particularly those who haven’t yet reached adolescence, and can appear as nightmares.

Jensen says children may need more support and reassurance from their parents or caregivers at the moment, another reason why it's important to have the conversation.

"In some way, try to insert that little piece of, 'you know, if you see things or hear things that either you wonder about or that just are kind of scary, you know, let's talk about it' cause I find it kind of scary,'" she says.

Rizkallah agrees. She wrote a book on how to help validate children’s feelings, called "I feel this, I feel that, I feel emotions, how about that." The book uses colourful illustrations and simple text to highlight emotions and help children understand that it’s okay to feel how they feel.

"The validation is a huge aspect," she says. "It’s really creating that emotional intelligence…we have to learn those things and that’s how parents can guide their children."

Her final tip for parents - don't forget about your own mental health.

"I try be informed, but I try not to be over-informed," says Rizkallah, "it's definitely knowing when you need to back away and practice your own self-care."