From struggle to support: Maritime man helps others overcome mental health struggles

For years, Brad Rowe has battled depression, often telling himself that “it’s just life.”

Until his 30s, Rowe struggled to keep a job and sustaining relationships was as equally challenging.

For a long time, Rowe was unsure what the problem was and for a long time he did not know if he could be happy.

“In 1999 I was first diagnosed with major depression, dysthymia and anxiety disorder. I had no idea I was experiencing anything. It was just me.”

He said looking back now, he sees the periods of depression and the impacts of living with anxiety had on his life.

“But for me it was just normal and I didn’t have a reference until I ran into a wall,” he said.

That is when he started seeking help.

“I was recovering back into an unhealthy place with which I didn’t know was unhealthy. I was destroying my life and ending up with nothing. I did everything I could. I went to therapy, doctors, and I was on medication but that wasn’t helping either.”

He realized he needed to get involved, and that meant learning to practice mindfulness.

“It was about not fixing something, but accepting what is happening, accepting what’s happening and allowing that to happen,” he said. “It can be many things like breathing or walking. To different people it could look a little different.”

It was then Rowe decided to start leading a virtual men’s group, where men across the province of Nova Scotia can join and share their experiences.

“Generally a bunch of guys don’t sit around talking about their feelings so it’s giving that permission and creating that space where you’re allowed.”

He said as more people share, the more others open up.

“You see a big guy with tattoos share a personal experience and begin to cry and you realize that it’s okay to talk about how you feel and share those experiences.”

June marks Men’s Mental Health Month, and according to Canadian Men’s Health Foundation only about 30 per cent of men use mental health services. However, according to researchers and psychologists these numbers are arbitrary and do not reflect the number of men that need it but do not use the service.

“Sharing emotion and having the emotions. They have the same skill set and so they are often harmed as a result of that because they are less likely to seek help [and] they’re less likely to be able to ask for help,” said psychologist Dayna Lee-Baggley.

Lee-Baggley said since the pandemic, conversations around mental health are happening more often, so men are more aware of services.

However, men are more likely to use apps or virtual meetings to speak, but there are other methods to make them more comfortable with sharing.

“North America really struggles with having a good sense of community and building community but there are some programs in the United States, for example, that talk about gun control with barbers. So we could try to talk about mental health or those kinds of topics in different settings where people normally find themselves talking to people,” said Lee-Baggley. “There’s another version where it’s bartenders who are doing it and so teaching them skill sets around talking about it, destigmatizing it, and encouraging people to get help.”

It has been years since Rowe has sought help and it has been over five years since he started the men’s group. Now as he helps others, he reminds them that it is not “just life” and things can get better.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, here are some resources that are available.

• Canada Suicide Prevention Helpline (1-833-456-4566)
• Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (1 800 463-2338)
• Crisis Services Canada (1-833-456-4566 or text 45645)
• Kids Help Phone [phone])

If you need immediate assistance call 911 or go to the nearest hospital.

For more Nova Scotia news visit our dedicated provincial page.